Zebra Mom Says:

12 Oct

Blog from zebra Mama:

This period of waiting for pathology results feels at times completely freeing and at others completely intolerable.

Freeing? Because we can enjoy the knowledge that our lives have completely turned upside down and that our priorities of two weeks ago no longer have to be our priorities today. We can put aside obligations and tend only to ourselves, the whole while with no idea of what really awaits.  We are shifting around, changing plans, ruminating about what might need to happen, and mostly laughing and reassuring each other that we will be okay during and after the next round of scary medical intervention.

Intolerable? Because, the anticipation of the upcoming struggle haunts me.   Looking forward to challenges has always been worse for me than their reality. Now we are at liberty, to think the worst as well as the best.  As during the hours, sometimes days, preceding an important court appearance during my lawyering days, or more recently a presentation at a conference I anxiously obsess. Sitting on my calendar, these things make me very nervous, anticipated almost to the point of dread.  But, once it exists in my present tense, the actual event is not difficult. My efforts look effortless to others. My rationale mind takes over, knows that things will go fine, better than fine, and once it is all over it will have been great fun, and in some way an incredible experience. Action for me is the more comfortable place.

The next few days will be very long.

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2 Responses to “Zebra Mom Says:”

  1. Claire October 12, 2010 at 12:42 pm #

    Thankful I friended Colleen recently on facebook and found this blog. My thoughts and prayers are with you all!!!

    Lots of LOVE, Claire

  2. Barbara Call October 27, 2010 at 9:32 pm #

    I love you guys and am thinking of you mother of frankenbelly. Bobs, I don’t have a single other thing to say. Love and Love some more. Barbs

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